40 Coffee Jokes & Puns That Will Surely Perk You Up

40 Coffee Jokes & Puns That Will Surely Perk You Up

No big surprise that we are huge coffee lovers here and we'll always jump on the chance to 'stir things up' with a fun coffee joke or pun.

Here are 40 coffee jokes and puns we hope you enjoy a latte!

  1. What’s the opposite of coffee? Sneezy.
  2. What’s a coffee’s favorite spell? Espresso Patronum!
  3. What’s a barista’s favorite exercise at the gym? The French press.
  4. What’s it called when you steal someone’s coffee? – A mugging!
  5. How is divorce like an Espresso? – It’s expensive and bitter.
  6. What do gossiping pots do? Spill the beans.
  7. How did the hipster burn their tongue? – They drank their coffee before it was cool.
  8. What do you call a cow who’s just given birth? – De-calf-inated.
  9. What is a bean’s favorite thing to eat on Thanksgiving? Roast.
  10. Why did the kangaroo stop drinking his cup of coffee? It made him too jumpy.
  11. What did the coffee say to their date? Hey there, hot stuff!
  12. What did the two coffee enthusiasts say when they got married? We’re meant to bean together!
  13. What do beans say to their Valentines? You keep me grounded.
  14. Thanks a latte for me being my friend
  15. You mocha me very happy.
  16. You warm my heart.
  17. She drank so much coffee at work, she considered it part of her daily grind.
  18. I do some of my best thinking over coffee. I tend to have a latte on my mind.
  19. What’s a barista’s favorite morning mantra? Rise and grind!
  20. What did the coffees say before their night out? Let’s stir up some trouble!
  21. What do baristas say to their least-favorite customers? You mocha me crazy!
  22. How are coffee beans like teenagers? – They are always getting grounded.
  23. What do you call a sad cup of coffee? A depresso. 
  24. You’re brew-ti-ful.
  25. Words cannot espresso how much you bean to me.
  26. Where do birds go for a cup of joe? To the NESTcafe.
  27. How does an IT guy drink coffee? He installs Java.
  28. What do you call two coffee mugs sitting next together? A happy cup-ple.
  29. “Wake me up before you cocoa!”
  30. What’s a coffee’s favorite karaoke song? Hit Me With your Best Shot!
  31. I didn’t choose the mug life, the mug life chose me.
  32. Why did it take the bean so long to do its homework? Because it was procaffeinating.
  33. How do cups greet each other? With mugs and kisses.
  34. What happened when one friend forgot to brew her pal a coffee? Their friendship came to a bitter end.
  35. What did the coffee say about its late assignment? Better latte than never!
  36. What do you call it when you walk into a coffee shop and feel like you’ve been there before? Déja-brew.
  37. Why was the coffee-shop worker fired? He kept showing up in a Tea-shirt.
  38. Why did the coffee bean keep checking his watch? Because he was pressed for time.
  39. I was reading a book about the origin of cappuccino but it was all froth and no substance.
  40. Why did the coffee shop close for the day? Because a storm was brewing.